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LOWER LEARNING directed by Mark Lafferty

I picked up this film in the US about 6 months ago mostly because it starred Rob Corddry, and I thought it could be funny. Then I made the mistake to check the rating on IMDB and I put it back on the shelf with other movies I need to watch. Well, I saw the trailer before another flick yesterday, and it looked fucking hilarious so I decided to watch it today and fucking hell I wasn’t disappointed, far from it actually. This film is just plain wrong. Corddry plays the principal of a school. He’s a crooked man, who bribes the parents and uses students as his personnal slaves and plans on getting the school shut down and leaving with the money. Then you’ve got Jason Biggs, the vice-principal who wants to save the school, with the help of Eva Longoria (who’s actually very decent in this flick). Honestly, I didn’t expect much from this film, but I was really laughing my ass off while watching it, especially when they put the kids in really awkward or fucked up situations. The real deal here is Will Sasso, who created an insane character as the crazy gym teacher who forces his tiny student to fight against the biggest girl in the school. Everything is overplayed and that’s what makes the movie so funny. Never do they try to underplay, it’s all over the top and I think that’s why it works well. Now, the script isn’t the strong point of this film but no one cares because you at least get to spend a good time enjoying a comedy that doesn’t originate from Appatow’s mold. This isn’t a revolution, this isn’t the best comedy I’ve seen in years, but it sure gave me my share of laughs, and I always enjoy seeing actors from the cast of shows such as “The Office” and “How I Met Your Mother” in movies, it just immediately brings me back to things I like.

posted by
jeanjulienkahn
2 years ago

June 19, 2009
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WHILE SHE WAS OUT directed by Susan Montford

First off, I fucking hate Kim Basinger… I don’t know why, that’s just how it’s always been, and yeah I know her performance in “L.A. Confidential” was amazing and blablabla cut the crap you don’t work for the fucking academy awards ok! She was the worst thing in Curtis Hanson’s film. There, I fucking said it. What else did she do? Absolutely nothing except getting her titties sucked on by a good looking Mickey Rourke… I agree, it’s more than a lot of women can pretend to nowadays (I’m referencing a good looking Rourke in case you didn’t get that), but still she’s a shitty actress. So, let’s now get to the film… Well, I didn’t really like it that much as you can imagine. It’s basically the story of an abused suburban housewife (boooohoooo), who witnesses a murder on Christmas Eve, and she gets chased by the murderers in the forest for a good 45min (I’m not kidding it’s fucking long), and then she gets all badass on the motherfuckers because she’s got…wait for it…a toolbox. Ok, I have to give the director a thumbs up for making the murders pretty gruesome but that is fucking it. We struggle for an hour and thirty minutes with nothing but Basinger on the fucking screen…arghhhhhhhhhh. One good thing about the flick is Lukas Haas, who plays the main evil dude. He was previously seen in “Mars Attacks” and the insanely awesome “Brick”, and thank god he’s in this flick because it really wouldn’t be possible otherwise. Anyway, you’ve understood there’s nothing to see here, and except four cool murder scenes, but really that’s absolutely it. Oh yeah, forgot to tell you, she kills her abusive husband in the end…there, you have it no need to watch this piece of shit.

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HE’S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU directed by Ken Kwapis

Ok, where do I begin with this one… You’re probably wondering, does it suck? Well, it really doesn’t… It’s actually quite good if you can believe it. I remember when it came out I absolutely had not interest in seeing it because I thought it would just be a dull chickflick. I have nothing against chickflicks, in fact, I consider myself a pretty sensible guy but I hate going to see a film written by women for women and coming out feeling like a piece of shit because if Nora Ephron says all men cheat, then it must be fucking true right? Well, Ken Kwapis’ film isn’t like that at all. In fact, most of my really masculine friends who like cars and watches enjoyed the flick. Basically, this film is a guide for both men and women to understand the clichés about relationships and dating. I say clichés because we aren’t all like that I’m sorry ladies, but I swear some of the things you’ll see in this film are absolutely true. Now, what made this film different from any other chickflick? Well, I’d say it’s probably because it’s very well written. The situations are all built very well, and even though we know about thirty minutes before the characters what’s going to happen, you still follow the movie and really enjoy it. The best aspect of the flick is the cast, because it’s not often that you see a romantic comedy with such a great cast. Being a guy, I had more empathy for the male characters, maybe also because I didn’t find the women in the film to have much going for them, but casting Justin Long and Bradley Cooper in this flick was an amazing idea. They bring veracity to their characters, and even though they’ve been out there for a while, I really think those two will become huge stars when audiences can finally see them in great parts…althought that might happen very soon for Cooper with the release of “The Hangover” where he seems to unleash all his comedy skills. Anyway, I’m going completely off topic here, so let’s just say if you’re a dude who’s into getting buff at the gym and hanging out with your bros, well enjoying this film won’t make you gay… Let’s say it’s like reading Cosmopolitan, you’ll get a nice and relaxing time out of it and who knows, maybe you’ll understand the opposite sex better douchebag!

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photo Weekend at the Movies: Sci-Fi Double Feature (part 2)
Terminator Salvation
The year is 2018. The world is a post apocalyptic mess - an ongoing result of the global war between humanity and machines. The Resistance versus Skynet, to be precise. The reason? Fourteen years prior, Skynet deemed humans to be a threat to its own existence and extirpated much of humanity in an event known as Judgment Day. But therein lies the problem, you see. The question of why machines are so hellbent to wipe out humankind is never answered. At least not in this film. It was, however, answered during a few visits to the Wikipedia pages of Terminator and Terminator 2: Judgment Day. Even newer questions about the franchise’s line between man and machine are raised in Terminator Salvation. Instead of answers, though, we are treated to action. Lots of it. That is fine, of course, if you are a person that dives into a film to see the protagonist shoot first and ask questions later. But those looking for the heart and driving elements that separates ANY film from being good or bad - the story and the characters in it - lose out.

(pics courtesy of IGN)
The narrative follows two characters: John Connor and Marcus Wright. Connor, played by Christian Bale, is a grizzled and hardened soldier destined to be humanity’s leader. He is the most important, and almost religious, figure in this Terminator universe. A saviour that provides hope. Despite the weight of the entire world on his shoulders, “JC” is hardly layered, or interesting. The young Star (Jadagrace) was more enjoyable - and she was mute. While everyone will be quick to jump on the actor, the script, calling for Connor to be cold, and often emotionless, deserves some of the blame. But even Bale suffers through uncharacteristic bouts of overacting. And oy vey, that voice. Christian Bale is arguably one of the most talented actors today, so it’s hard to understand why he couldn’t give John Connor his own unique characterisitcs instead of resorting to the now creepy joke of a voice. Still, Bale isn’t bad nor great. And despite his character’s status in the film, he isn’t the most pivotal.

Marcus Wright, played by Sam Worthington, is a character that mysteriously wakes up in 2018 after being executed in 2003. He is headstrong, fearless and confused. Looking for answers in a an unfamiliar world, he displays heroic tendencies. Soon we discover that he is in fact a cyborg with human organs, mechanical endoskeleton, circuitry, and a partially artificial cerebral cortex. The real discovery is how much more complex and human he his compared to John Connor, making him the most fascinating character in the film. But because of rapid transitions into action, he never meets his ultimate potential as a cyborg that suffers through the internal conflict of believing they’re human. Even so, Terminator Salvation becomes more about Wright than Connor, and the film was stronger following his story.

For example, the film is at its most immersive when Marcus, Star, and Kyle Reese (Anton Yelchin) share the screen. Yelchin himself, has become a bit of a revelation lately, and his portrayal of the street smart, intense, and protective Reese stood out as the second best performance of the film. Bryce Dallas Howard, Moon Bloodgood, Jane Alexander, Helena Bonham Carter, Michael Ironside, Common (who seemed to rap through his lines), and a special cameo from a political figure, all played a part, but didn’t have the screen time to matter. In the end, all character growth is stunted because the film called for more destruction than development.
That isn’t to say the action was poor. On the contrary. The action scenes, along with the CGI, were every bit extravagant, and frankly, the best this year. Anything you could ever ask for in a multi-million blockbuster is present: multiple vehicle chase scenes, grand explosions, cyborg to cyborg combat, etc. The many different machine models Skynet had to offer were a sight to behold. Truly pushing the boundary of sci-fi technology. McG’s vision of the future perfectly resembles a world annihilated by war: desolate, desperate, barren, and bleak. Painted with strokes of sepia and gray tones.

Terminator Salvation’s action/CGI, while its strong points, is also its own worst enemy. It’s far too abundant. After sitting through car scenes, truck scenes, motorcycle scenes, helicopter scenes, jet scenes, fight scenes, and more fight scenes, we’ve spent too much time exhaling instead of thinking. What is this film really about? A big war with both sides trying to infiltrate each other. That’s it? If it’s about something meaningful, I must have missed it amongst the flying robot limbs.
In a way, Terminator Salvation is the anti-thesis of Star Trek. Here we have two films rebooting their franchise. Being able to satisfy the oldcore legions is obviously a priority. But being able to garner fans in this new generation is equally important (especially with plans for a trilogy). Star Trek was able to make their story accessible to newbies and has become an unmitigated success because of it. Terminator Salvation made no such effort, and in the process, was able to make their story even more convoluted. Expecting our generation to know important pieces of information from 1985 (T1) and 1991 (T2) to be able to follow this film’s story is idiotically selfish.

(cross posted at Otakuberries)

Weekend at the Movies: Sci-Fi Double Feature (part 2)

Terminator Salvation

The year is 2018. The world is a post apocalyptic mess - an ongoing result of the global war between humanity and machines. The Resistance versus Skynet, to be precise. The reason? Fourteen years prior, Skynet deemed humans to be a threat to its own existence and extirpated much of humanity in an event known as Judgment Day. But therein lies the problem, you see. The question of why machines are so hellbent to wipe out humankind is never answered. At least not in this film. It was, however, answered during a few visits to the Wikipedia pages of Terminator and Terminator 2: Judgment Day. Even newer questions about the franchise’s line between man and machine are raised in Terminator Salvation. Instead of answers, though, we are treated to action. Lots of it. That is fine, of course, if you are a person that dives into a film to see the protagonist shoot first and ask questions later. But those looking for the heart and driving elements that separates ANY film from being good or bad - the story and the characters in it - lose out.

(pics courtesy of IGN)

The narrative follows two characters: John Connor and Marcus Wright. Connor, played by Christian Bale, is a grizzled and hardened soldier destined to be humanity’s leader. He is the most important, and almost religious, figure in this Terminator universe. A saviour that provides hope. Despite the weight of the entire world on his shoulders, “JC” is hardly layered, or interesting. The young Star (Jadagrace) was more enjoyable - and she was mute. While everyone will be quick to jump on the actor, the script, calling for Connor to be cold, and often emotionless, deserves some of the blame. But even Bale suffers through uncharacteristic bouts of overacting. And oy vey, that voice. Christian Bale is arguably one of the most talented actors today, so it’s hard to understand why he couldn’t give John Connor his own unique characterisitcs instead of resorting to the now creepy joke of a voice. Still, Bale isn’t bad nor great. And despite his character’s status in the film, he isn’t the most pivotal.

Marcus Wright, played by Sam Worthington, is a character that mysteriously wakes up in 2018 after being executed in 2003. He is headstrong, fearless and confused. Looking for answers in a an unfamiliar world, he displays heroic tendencies. Soon we discover that he is in fact a cyborg with human organs, mechanical endoskeleton, circuitry, and a partially artificial cerebral cortex. The real discovery is how much more complex and human he his compared to John Connor, making him the most fascinating character in the film. But because of rapid transitions into action, he never meets his ultimate potential as a cyborg that suffers through the internal conflict of believing they’re human. Even so, Terminator Salvation becomes more about Wright than Connor, and the film was stronger following his story.

For example, the film is at its most immersive when Marcus, Star, and Kyle Reese (Anton Yelchin) share the screen. Yelchin himself, has become a bit of a revelation lately, and his portrayal of the street smart, intense, and protective Reese stood out as the second best performance of the film. Bryce Dallas Howard, Moon Bloodgood, Jane Alexander, Helena Bonham Carter, Michael Ironside, Common (who seemed to rap through his lines), and a special cameo from a political figure, all played a part, but didn’t have the screen time to matter. In the end, all character growth is stunted because the film called for more destruction than development.

That isn’t to say the action was poor. On the contrary. The action scenes, along with the CGI, were every bit extravagant, and frankly, the best this year. Anything you could ever ask for in a multi-million blockbuster is present: multiple vehicle chase scenes, grand explosions, cyborg to cyborg combat, etc. The many different machine models Skynet had to offer were a sight to behold. Truly pushing the boundary of sci-fi technology. McG’s vision of the future perfectly resembles a world annihilated by war: desolate, desperate, barren, and bleak. Painted with strokes of sepia and gray tones.

Terminator Salvation’s action/CGI, while its strong points, is also its own worst enemy. It’s far too abundant. After sitting through car scenes, truck scenes, motorcycle scenes, helicopter scenes, jet scenes, fight scenes, and more fight scenes, we’ve spent too much time exhaling instead of thinking. What is this film really about? A big war with both sides trying to infiltrate each other. That’s it? If it’s about something meaningful, I must have missed it amongst the flying robot limbs.

In a way, Terminator Salvation is the anti-thesis of Star Trek. Here we have two films rebooting their franchise. Being able to satisfy the oldcore legions is obviously a priority. But being able to garner fans in this new generation is equally important (especially with plans for a trilogy). Star Trek was able to make their story accessible to newbies and has become an unmitigated success because of it. Terminator Salvation made no such effort, and in the process, was able to make their story even more convoluted. Expecting our generation to know important pieces of information from 1985 (T1) and 1991 (T2) to be able to follow this film’s story is idiotically selfish.

(cross posted at Otakuberries)

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MY BLOODY VALENTINE 3D directed by Patrick Lussier

I love it when they remake a film that’s bad to begin with… I mean, someone remaking John Carpenter’s “Halloween” takes a lot of balls, but remaking “My Bloody Valentine” doesn’t represent such a challenge. The director Patrick Lussier isn’t particularly known, and he doesn’t have anything to lose because people will always say his remake is better than the original. He also has the 3D, which doesn’t make the film any better, but it sure as hell makes it fun. Funny story, I started watching this film, I was pretty tired in my living room, and twenty minutes in I hit the pause button and wondered, “is this film really in 3D?”… Well, turns out I put the DVD on the wrong side. The story isn’t that funny anymore, but it just goes to show that this film is only worth anything because of the 3D. The actors are all pretty much terrible, even that guy I kind of liked in “The Forsaken” (yes I actually liked “The Forsaken” we all have bad taste once in a while). Lussier isn’t a bad director per se, and he actually knows how to build a little tension during scenes but you never believe that something with half a brain wouldn’t be able to get away from that boogeyman. Now, that’s the good aspect of the film, the boogeyman is freaking awesome, and the attitude, the movements and the kills are extremely well thought so I might as well point that out. This film is also the occasion to tell producer, directors, and screenwriters that a horror movie doesn’t necessarily need a shitty twist ending… Seriously, you don’t need some far-fetched explanation to surprise us about the boogeyman’s identity, because just because of that furiously shitty ending I will never watch the film again when I’m looking for a fun horror film… That’s all I’m saying.

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