Mad Men: Season 3
Debuts today on AMC with limited commercial interruption.
TWO LOVERS directed by James Gray
James Gray is a director who’s work I really enjoy. It’s fascinating to see that a guy with so much talent has taken so long to direct just four films. “Little Odessa” was a masterpiece. I mean the guy starts his career with a masterpiece. Tim Roth and Edward Furlong were absolutely perfect in the film, and Gray was starting his trilogy about family. Similarly to Wes Anderson, Gray is a director who has the same theme from film to film. With “We Own the Night”, I felt that he had directed the best film of his career, and that he could never dream of anything better. Then I heard he was directing a drama starring his De Niro, the one and only Joaquin Pheonix. Gray has always done crime dramas, but this was the first time he spoke of romance, and it is a subject he masters as well as any other. In the first frame of the film, Phoenix is walking towards on the peer in Brooklyn and he jumps off it to commit suicide. Everything is perfect in that scene, and Gray manages to hook you up from the first seconds, and then you don’t want to leave Pheonix’s character. Something tells you that you want to know what’s going to happen to him, even though the only real drama in the film is the choice between two women. In the end, Gray went with the anti-Hollywood ending, and he did what neo-realists would have done. There is no higher power that’s going to make your life better all of a sudden, there is no chance to be happy with every aspect of our life and in the end we just have to suck it and deal with it. Gray hasn’t lost hope in humanity; in fact, he has a clearer view of humanity than a lot of directors. I really loved that film. I’m not sure I want to see it again anytime soon, but it really grabbed me and didn’t let go. It’s a strong film. It’s strong because it’s real, and even though we all wish we lived in a Hollywood film sometimes, things never turn out like they do in romantic comedies. Life is a drama. A real romantic drama and there’s nothing we can fucking do about it so we might as well deal with it!
GRAN TORINO directed by Clint Eastwood
Reviewing a Clint Eastwood film is a much more difficult task than it seems. Why is that? Because Eastwood makes perfect films. Let me explain, because you’re probably wondering what’s a problem with making perfect films. I always say I’d rather watch a mediocre film with one truly fantastic scene, or even shot, because perfect films often feel flat to me. I remember coming out of “Million Dollar Baby”, and I felt like that someone just had great sex with me, but without my consent… You probably think I’m insane right now, but I’m just trying to say that Eastwood makes perfect films, but he knows he makes them you know. Same thing happened with “The Changeling”. There’s nothing wrong with that movie, far from it, but I just felt like I had to dislike something about it. So, when I heard everyone rave about his latest flick “Gran Torino”, I decided I wouldn’t pay to go see it at the movies and I waited for the DVD release. It’s always a big test for a film because you can always switch a DVD off and get back to it later…and most of the time you never do get back to it (yeah I’m talking about you “Son of Rambow”, it’s not that you’re a bad film, it’s just that I wasn’t in the mood…well, fuck you too!) Anyway, let’s get back to Eastwood’s film. My favourite Clint film is “A Perfect World”. It’s one of the only films that can make me cry like a little sissy, and everytime I ask for more. When Clint kills Costner’s character (yeah sorry should have warned I was going to spoil it for you…well, fuck you too!) I can’t help but feel a big tear in my heart. Anyway, “Gran Torino” is from that caliber. Most people probably already know the story. A grumpy dirty Harry takes a young Hmong teenager under his wing and protects him from the hoodlums of the neighbourhood. Yes, it’s simple, and I know the trailers made it look like a pro-republican pamphlet but it’s actually the complete opposite. Eastwood was accused of being a racist fuck with the “Dirty Harry” series, and I think he decided to play with those accusations in this flick, and the character of Walt Kowalski is just pure bliss to watch, and I actually burst out laughing many times during the film, and I stopped counting all the racist slurs twenty minutes in. Now, this film isn’t only something fun and a parody of Eastwood’s early work. No, it’s probably one of the most touching, human flicks I’ve seen in years. Eastwood is humble here, and contrary to “Million Dollar Baby”, his idea isn’t to make the audience cry and to make them think about a difficult topic. No, he wants to tell the story of a man who lived humbly for a cause but eventually (SPOILER AHEAD I’m not that big a dick) dies for a noble cause. In the “Dirty Harry” series his character was more likely to kill people for a stupid cause, and that’s what makes the film here so powerful. This isn’t the best film I saw in years, but it’s definitely a great flick, I spent a fantastic time watching it and I wouldn’t mind watching it again once in a while, just like I do with “A Perfect World”, even though I know I’m going to end up crying at the end…
Just like the plague or any album released by Coldplay, summer movie season is officially upon us and there is nowhere to hide.
With no absolute slam dunks like The Dark Knight or Wall-E on the horizon, I figured I would take a couple of minutes to wade through the toxic waste dump of sequels, re-treads and Wayans Brothers projects to talk about three movies that I will actually pay to see.

We haven’t gotten anything from Tarantino since Death Proof kicked the crap out of Planet Terror as the second half of Grindhouse in 2007. Interesting spelling choices and American Idol appearances aside, the man usually knows exactly what he’s doing. Basterds is the passion project he’s been working on for the better part of the last decade. For those who don’t know the premise (and you can find the trailer right here) I’ll break it down for you right quick: Brad Pitt leads a group of 8 semi-psychotic Jewish-American soldiers through German occupied France during WWII. Their sole purpose is to make a serious dent in the Third Reich by brutally taking out as many “nat-zi’s” as they possibly can. Expect a dialogue heavy picture full of obscure music, bizarre character names, ridiculous deaths and historical inaccuracies. But also expect it to be totally original and beyond entertaining.

I’ve been hearing about this movie for the better part of a year now but only recently did I actually start seeing spots for it. Apatow, to me, is at his absolute best when he’s captaining his own ship. The man has a million production credits (and that number is only going to get more and more staggering as the years progress) but I don’t think any of the obnoxious Will Ferrell movies or Walk Hards are even in the same stratosphere as Freaks and Geeks, Undeclared and Knocked Up. The stories he likes to tell are complete. Of course they’re funny. But they’re also absurd. Uncomfortable. Gross. Touching. Emotional. And perhaps most important, realistic. I expect nothing less from Funny People. Interesting Fact: Apatow and Sandler were actually roommates in New York way back in their early 20’s. If you want to hear a pretty hilarious anecdote about it check out this clip at about the three minute and twenty second mark.

This one is the wildcard. I’m not exactly sure just what we’re going to get yet. All of the trailers seem like they’re trying to put this movie into the Kate Hudson Terrible, Horrible Date Movie Zone but I sincerely hope they’re just kind of skewing it to sell a couple of extra tickets. Everything I’ve read about it gives me hope that this movie is very much the exception and not the rule. From longtime music video director Marc Webb, 500 Days of Summer follows (the super awesome) Joseph Gordon Levitt as he meets, falls in love with and subsequently has his heart lawn-mowed by (Natalie Portman’s replacement as the pretentious indie nerds number one crush) Zooey Deschanel. The movie follows no specific timetable though as it careens back and forth through all 500 days of their relationship at random. From the time they initially locked eyes until the point where he’s convinced that he’s finally over her. The story lends itself to being more Garden State or Eternal Sunshine than 27 Dresses, and I sincerely hope that that is in fact the territory it ends up landing in.
And while we remain on the subject of summer movies there is one more very special person that I just have to address. Michael Bay, the first time I let all the transgressions slide. The fact they had mouths. The ridiculous advertising tie-ins. The flame decals. The fact that Optimus Prime said “My Bad.” I was just that excited to get to experience a live action Transformers movie in my lifetime. This time however, the gloves are coming off. If you fuck up this one anywhere near as bad as it appears that you have (Egypt? Seriously?) I am going to ride my bike to Hollywood, buy a map to the stars apartments, visit Martin Lawrence and make him give me your address, show up at your house and dropkick you in the dick so hard it will catapult you back to 2004 so that you can change your mind and let Scarlett Johansson show her boobs in The Island, thus ensuring the DVD will sell more than 18 copies.
And Spielberg? Consider yourself next.